Today is all about me...

Okay so it's really not about me because I have to work and do all the things around the house after work; but I'd like it to be! I started this blog because I thought it would be a great outlet to write all the things I think but for whatever reason don't say. All those things I would like to change, but just haven't been able to; believe me there are a lot but I'll start with what should be the easiest to address.

Let me start with one of the things which have been in the forefront of my mind; my weight. Yikes! Until 6-7 years ago I have been small, weighing no more than 115, but in recent years I have gone from 130-160. I have yo-yo'd between the two and haven't done anything to control it. Now before you say "well that's why your weight is crazy," let me say that I have never had to exercise in my life. So getting the motivation to get into the gym at the crack of dawn may be one of the hardest things I could do. I always have good intentions the night before. I tell myself tomorrow is the day you're gonna start in the gym, and I say to myself "once you get started it'll be easy!" However, I don't start! Why? Perhaps there's something in my psyche that is a blocker not allowing me to start?

What's funny is I still see myself if my mind's eye as 115, but then I catch myself in pictures and I am shocked and appalled at how I look. Puffy face, big arms, and actual ROLLS in my mid-section. I know some will say "it happens as you get older." Crap, crap, crap, I say! There are a lot of people my age and older who are in much better shape than I. I refuse to believe this is only because of good genes. Perhaps this has something to do with it, well of course it does; but those people work out and overall probably have a healthy eating lifestyle.

I don't know how to get started and I know many of us face this same dilemma. How do I get started? I think some of it is a result of depression in part to my weight. (which I am talking to someone about) Some people say it's easy to get motivated, all you have to do is get started. This is easy for some, and for others perhaps like me; it's not. We tell ourselves daily tomorrow will be the day, tomorrow comes and we're tired, we're sad, life gets busy and before we know it to stifle that disappointment in ourselves we're eating dinner and telling ourselves "tomorrow will be the day."